Quick intro – this is a sort of mini journal post about getting back to authentic blogging (something I admit I haven’t really been doing too much of lately) and my writing journey over the last 2-3 years. And… getting back to where it all began, blogging here on Good Health Buzz, YAY!!!
I haven’t blogged here in a while…
(I’m going to try and edit as little as possible to keep things as real as possible…)
Since 2013, I’ve started a bunch of other blogs – some embarrassingly unsuccessful and way too pretentious than I care to think about – urrrgggg *cringe*. I also stopped freelancing at home to join the rat race again – this time as a digital copywriter (yay!)
But during that time, I feel like I lost that autenticity I had in my writing.
You know, when you write for a living and a paycheck, it’s all about SEO this and heading that and amazing image this and unique that. And EDITING for Africa. Editing forever and ever and ever and ever. So I started not really enjoying blogging over the weekends – it felt like such a schlep. It would literally take me (and I’m not lying) 3-4 hours to pump out a completed post. Yes, I know that’s the norm for a quality SEO post and all that, but really, who has that kind of time?
The weekend is only SO long!
I missed writing for fun.
I missed that JOY of writing with my heart on my sleeve and sounding silly and not caring.
I missed my writing community and friends.
When I first jumped into blogging in 2012, I met a bunch of awesome bloggers via HubPages (great writing community, if you ever want to start a blog or just get connected with other writers). We read each others blogs and commented and shared and we were really an awesome support system for each other.
And then things got real. Some of us stopped visiting each other’s blogs and commenting because – well, honestly, TIME. Out of nothing else, other than a little bit of extra time for marketing a blog post or guest posting or this or that. Looking back now, I could literally kick myself for doing that.
Talk about selfish. And a little self involved actually.
But you know what? – live and learn. That’s my motto. I’m far from perfect, but I’ll always admit when I’ve screwed up. I miss reading what people have been up to. There’s already enough Mind Body Green type of websites out there.
I miss reading more of the everyday kind of writing – you know, the kind of writing you can nod-your-head relate to.
When I started my “magazine-style website” (how ridiculous does that sound for someone just starting out? Really! I’m so glad I can laugh at this now), I expected it to soar leaps and bounds. I compared it to other sites which had been around the block and been built up over at least 5 years. But no, mine would be different, I kept telling myself…
Well, I think you can have all the “trending” topics you like with all the keywords, if you’re not authentic, if you’re doing something for the wrong reasons and not giving back to others or the universe (firm believer in this) – it’s not going to work. It just won’t.
Sharing and giving is another thing I steered away from for the least 2 years or so.
The internet is a really noisy, NOISY place – everyone thinks they’re a bloody writer today. It’s all “me, me, me” – look at MY awesome article. Share it! Like it! Read it! It’s so different and so amazingly cool! I guess I fell into that mentality for a while, too…
And it’s so weird typing this now and having that “aha” moment. Like, really – who actually did I think I was?
Maybe I’m being too hard on myself… I can’t help it. It feels good to just write here what’s been going on in my head instead of editing it all out so that I don’t look like a failure, or – gasp – NOT perfect.
I remember when I first started blogging, I used to write about my family and friends – without their permission. They were good sports about it, no one outright told me to take stuff off, but looking back now – if someone ever did that to me without asking, I’d be a little irritated to say the least. So then I stopped doing that, because, well, privacy.
My writing became a little less “un-me” and a little more of what I thought other people wanted to read.
What other people were writing.
Blogging became this constant comparing “game” – it was like nothing I did was ever good enough. And of course I had the silly Google Adsense things on and I checked stats almost daily.
No man, that’s not what blogging is supposed to be!
At least, that’s not what I want my blogging to be. I want to be REAL, authentic and write like I used to – not worrying about what anyone is going to think about what I’ve written – or even if anyone is going to read it. (But that would be lovely – otherwise I’m pretty much just writing a journal entry over here…).
For the last few weeks I’ve been obsessing about starting something “new” on the side, because this entrepreneurial spirit just won’t die. It just won’t shut up – at all. For the life of me, I just couldn’t put my finger on this new thing. I kept changing my mind, coming up with a cool concept – well, I thought it was good, only to find that someone else had bought the domain name grrrrr. I kept wondering why something I really wanted to do felt so darn hard.
And then it hit me…
There’s ALWAYS a reason. As an introvert, highly sensitive person, INFJ personality, Sagittarius – whatever you want to call it – I’m programmed for some or other reason to continuously want to pursue new things. It’s like I get a high off of it or something. It’s why I can’t see us buying a house yet – because it’s such a relief to just pack up and move to another rental when you’ve had enough.
(I get sick of a lot of things – but family and friends aren’t one of them… just saying).
Trying something new is all good and well when you’re working from home and you can come and go as you please. When you’re working a full time job, sitting in heavy traffic for 2 hours a day – leaving home in the dark and coming home in the dark, it’s a bit of a different story. Add to that time for exercising (not as easy as it used to be), quality time with family, some “me time”, supper, preparing stuff for the next day, etc. etc. etc…. it all adds up. There is just NO time for a full on side gig.
Unless of course you want to burn out. Sorry… staying up till 12pm when I need to get up by 5am just isn’t going to happen.
And I love my weekends too much. Selfish…? I call it self care. 😉
In essence what this blog is all about – the self care / wellness part.
I was chatting to a good friend (hi Cynthia!) while writing this post (oooh multitasking), and she said that since she’s known me (about 4 years), I’ve written about healthful things – yoga, eating right, inspiring others, taking time to travel, delving into deeper thoughts about humanity and stress and overcoming those shortcomings, running, going to wineries, trail runs, reading, chilling, travelling…
It’s all real stuff. It’s what my soul dances around about for.
So let me stop this rambling post and do a quick glance through (without editing) and get this ball rolling. I’m really happy to be back here. It feels good, it feels right. Things happen for reasons in life and I’m so glad I didn’t let go of this domain and kept renewing it year after year.
I haven’t got any set plans, just to keep writing on here about things that feel good, wellness things… positive vibey things. Keeping it REAL. And sharing… I plan to share some awesome links to and posts about blogging buddies and friends who are making little dents in the world with own passion projects and blogs, small businesses and things worth spreading around.
Good Health Buzz – it’s good to be back!
Here’s to health and happiness, as always.
[Confession: I did some minor edits on this post – I couldn’t help it, it’s a work in progress… at least it didn’t take 3 hours].