But no, sometimes it’s really not. Sometimes you just want to curl up into a little ball and hide away from the rest of the world because you think you’re not good enough. Because you think you suck. Because life’s dealing you some pretty crappy cards and you’re sick of it.
Well, at least that’s how I felt a few weeks ago.
Things have been great for the last couple of months on the writing side, but then I got some unexpected news two weeks ago. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. It made me doubt ALL that I’ve been doing for the last year and working towards.
I did something I haven’t done in a long time too – I questioned myself.
That’s really not a cool feeling to have. Especially when you’re 30 years old and trying to get going with a writing career. I drowned myself in a flood of self pity that weekend. I was pissed off, embarrassed, angry, depressed, sad, unsure of myself… I really wasn’t a lot of fun to be around.
Eventually I got out of my slump. “The voice of reason” spoke some sense into me, though I didn’t want to hear it at the time and I told him that in no uncertain terms. But more than that, I didn’t want to give one person a hold over the way I saw myself. I’d worked too hard and I’d let too many people do that to me in the past.
Do you believe in yourself?
I do – most of the time. It’s that belief that’s helped me get out of my comfort zone and keep pushing forward. But, that’s easy to do when you have people around you who offer support and give you a constant thumbs up. What about when that’s not the case? When you’re doing what you’re doing in spite of what other people are thinking or saying. When every ounce of you just wants to quit and give up, and do something easy.
It’s those days that are the toughest.
Believe it or not, something very simple helped me refocus and get back into my groove… to be positive again. It’s something I turn to on A LOT of days actually. When I’m really happy, sad, depressed or feeling like a grain of sand in the big, wide world.
Do you want to know what it is?
It’s a simple two second thought….
I imagine myself on my deathbed. Or really old. Or 30 years from now.
I envision myself looking back on my life and all the things I did, and things I didn’t do. Then I think about people I know who’ve died really young, and I wonder… do I really know when my time’s up? Maybe it’s not when I’m old. Maybe it’s sooner than I think. If it is… I certainly don’t want to spend it being bitter or feeling sorry for myself. Not more than a few minutes anyway. I won’t lie, sometimes it takes me a few hours – or days – to stop doubting myself and thinking all kinds of stupid things, but when I eventually get to do this quick “time travel” into the future, it usually pulls me right out of it.
We’re all destined to do things in our lives, and you know what? Sometimes they’re not going to work out the way we had them all mapped out. Sometimes things are going to happen which are unexpected or not nice and we’re going to have to make a choice and roll with it.
Part of that is making the choice to believe in yourself. That you’re good enough when you give your best. That everything happens for a reason, even though it might seem like the end of the world in that very moment.
I’m going to leave you with some…
FEEL GOOD INSPIRATION
I can always rely on a few things and people to help me get back into my ‘zone’.
One of those things is quotes. I LOVE quotes. Just a few simple words thrown together can make you feel inspired, motivated and more positive than you were only seconds ago. That’s amazing! Check out some of my favourite quotes from Oprah Winfrey here.
I want to introduce you to two writing buddies of mine who have made a HUGE impact on not only my writing, but on a few aspects of my life as well… and continue to do so:
Bill Holland was one of the first writers I stumbled across last year who I could really relate to. He’s truly one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever known. This 60-something year old has a gift for writing and making a difference in people’s lives. His goal in life is to help inspire people in their lives, especially writers. What I admire the most about Bill is his tenacity and zest for life. He refused to let the troubles of his past define him, and lives every day to the fullest. He’s started running and doing yoga, is raising chickens in his backyard and collecting eggs, and has a heart of gold. He’s one of those few genuine people who will go out of their way to help others. He’s a fighter for humanity. For writing tips and motivation, check out his blog, Artistry with Words.
Cyndi Calhoun is a writer, an artist, a photographer, a friend to animals, a spiritual and nature lover, and a teacher. Cyndi and I often laugh about how alike we are, because although we live an ocean apart, we really have a lot in common. She’s one of those people who you come into contact with by chance, but for a reason. Cyndi’s positive energy is contagious. She’s one of the few people I know who truly respect the world, animals and people around her. Like Bill, she has a heart of gold and my goodness… you’ve got to see the magical paintings she comes up with – they’re incredible! For positive inspiration, do yourself a favour and go check out her blog, Pictimilitude.